Today, I woke up for the first time since I got sick 5 weeks ago, feeling better! 😄👍 I had a dream the other night, in my feverish state, that the reason for my fragile health is because of unresolved anger. I think this is totally true. It's true, I am angry 😡 I'm angry that I my childhood was blighted by trauma...I'm angry that I wasn't protected or looked after properly...I'm angry that I was left alone with my scars and fury and had no one to talk to and I'm angry that every time I tried to express my anger, I was shut down...I'm angry about ALL the injustice, terror, prejudice and suffering in the world ... yeah, I'm angry ... but I'm tired of this anger being directed inwards and making me sick! Yesterday, I resolved to release my anger into the universe and just allow myself to feel it when it arises and then to LET IT GO. I resolved to try to let ALL emotions flow through me, like water, rather than to cling onto any of them and I visualized my inner world as a lush, healthy rainforest in perfect balance and harmony. Last night, I slept for 9 hours straight and woke up feeling calm, healthy and strong 💪
It's not easy to deal with anger and it's one of those emotions that can disguise itself as many other things (like sickness, lethargy or even passivity) but it's ok to be angry! It's ok to feel it and it's ok to express it! (Just don't go round clothes-lining old ladies, yeah?) But once you're done with it, LET IT GO! Don't store it in your body because it will make you sick! I hope that this realization is the start of something wonderful and I wish all of you health, happiness, love and ALL of the other emotions that go along with life 😄 we got this, my beautiful friends! .
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